Eb
I wish I were a bird
     Bb             Eb                Ab             Eb
'Cause if I were a bird then I could take wing high above you
            Fm                   Bb
You could watch my white wings flap
             Db                Ab       Eb                Bb
And I could take a great big crap on anyone who tried to hurt you
          Cm7           Eb
But then I'd have to desert you
          F              Ab
Flying southward in the fall...
   Fm           Eb          Bb   Eb
I don't want to be a bird after all

[Verse 2]
   Eb
I wish I were a dog
     Bb             Eb                Ab             Eb
'Cause if I were a dog then I'd do tricks to show I love you
       Fm                   Bb
I could run and fetch the stick
             Db                Ab       Eb                Bb
And I could sit right down and lick my privates when your Mom came over
      Cm7           Eb
But if I was your Rover
         F        Ab
You'd have my testicles recalled...
 Fm           Eb          Bb   Eb
I don't want to be a dog after all

[Chorous]
        Ab          Eb          Bb          Eb
Lai da dai, lai da dai, lai da dai, lai da dai
        Ab          Eb          Bb
Lai da dai, lai da dai, lai da dai
        Ab          Eb          Bb          Eb
Lai da dai, lai da dai, lai da dai, lai da dai
        Ab          Eb          Bb
Lai da dai, lai da dai, lai da dai

[Verse 3]
  Eb
I wish I were a deer
     Bb             Eb                Ab             Eb
'Cause if I were a deer then we could play out in the forest
        Fm             Bb
'Til you shot me by mistake
                Db             Ab         Eb          Bb
Then you would carve me into steak with a touch so sweet and gentle
        Cm7           Eb
Keep my head as a memento
        F               Ab
Hangin' in the upstairs hall...
   Fm           Eb          Bb   Eb
I don't want to be a deer after all

[Verse 4]
  Eb
I wish I were a monkey
     Bb             Eb                Ab             Eb
'Cause if I were a monkey, I could be your furry jester
       Fm              Bb
And whenever you were blue
              Db              Ab             Eb           Bb
You'd come and see me at the zoo; my antics would be reassurin'
             Cm7           Eb
But I would always reek of urine
               F           Ab
And throw my feces at the wall...
  Fm           Eb
I don't want to be a monkey
   Fm           Eb
I don't want to be a monkey
      Fm         Eb            Bb   Eb
No, I don't wanna be no monkey after all

[Chorous]
        Ab          Eb          Bb          Eb
Lai da dai, lai da dai, lai da dai, lai da dai
        Ab          Eb          Bb
Lai da dai, lai da dai, lai da dai
        Ab          Eb          Bb          Eb
Lai da dai, lai da dai, lai da dai, lai da dai
        Ab          Eb          Bb
Lai da dai, lai da dai, lai da dai