Bb
I never seem to finish all my food
         Ab                        Eb
I always get a doggie bag from the waiter
          Bb
So I just keep what's still unchewed
              Ab                Eb
And I take it home, save it for later

                     Bb
But then I deal with fungal rot, bacterial formation
Microbes, enzymes, mold and oxidation
Ab                       Eb
I don't care, I've got a secret trick up my sleeve
                    Bb
I never bother with baggies, glass jars, tupperware containers
Plastic cling wrap, really a no-brainer
Ab                         Eb
I just like to keep all my flavours sealed in tight

              Bb
With aluminum foil (foil)
Never settle for less
             Ab
That kind of wrap is just the best
             Eb
To keep your sandwich nice and fresh
                 Bb
Stick it in your cooler (cooler)
Eat it when you're ready
                 Ab
But maybe you'll choose (you'll choose, you'll choose, you'll choose)
Eb
  A refreshing herbal tea

Mmm, lovely!

           Bb
Oh, by the way, I've cracked the code
             Ab                     Eb
I've figured out these shadow organizations
          Bb
And the Illuminati know
                     Ab                   Eb
That they're finally primed for world domination

                          Bb
And soon you've got black helicopters come across the border
Puppet masters for the New World Order
Ab                       Eb
Be aware: there's always someone that's watching you
                         Bb
And still the government won't admit they faked the whole moon landing
Thought control rays, psychotronic scanning
Ab                         Eb
Don't mind that, I'm protected cause I made this hat

              Bb
From aluminum foil (foil)
Wear a hat that's foil lined
           Ab
In case an alien's inclined
              Eb
To probe your butt or read your mind
              Bb
Looks a bit peculiar ('culiar)
Seems a little crazy
                 Ab
But someday I'll prove (I'll prove, I'll prove, I'll prove)
Eb
  There's a big conspiracy