C
It was raining, it was cold
   F
West Bethlehem was no place for a twelve-year old
   G
So he packed his bag and he headed out
                        C
To find out what the world's about
 C
He went to France and went to Spain
 F
He found love and he found pain
 G
He found stores, so he started to shop
                                              C
He had no money, so he got in trouble with a cop
  C
Kids in trouble with the cops from Israel didn't have no home
   F
So he cut his hair and moved to Rome
  G
It was there, he met his Irish bride
                                                   C
And they rented a flat on the lower east side of Rome
 F
Italy, that is
 G
Music publishers, book binders

Bible belters, swimming pools
                                  C
Orgies, and lots of pretty Italian chicks


[Chorus]
 C                            F
Charlie bought some popcorn, Billy bought a car
  G
Someone almost bought the farm, but they didn't go that far
   C                               F
Things shut down at midnight, at least round here they do
    G                                            C
'Cause we all reside down the block inside 23 Skidoo


[Verse 2]
  C
Wine was flowing, so were beers
 F
So Jesus found his missing years
 G
He went to a dance and said, "This don't move me"
                           C
He hiked up his pants and he went to a movie
  C
On his thirteenth birthday, he saw Rebel Without A Cause
   F
He went straight on home and invented Santa Claus
   G
Who gave him a gift and he responded in kind
                                              C
He gave the gift of love and went out of his mind
  C
You see, him and the wife wasn't getting along
 F
So he took out his guitar and he wrote a song
   G
Called 'The Dove Of Love Fell Off The Perch'
                                                C
But he couldn't get divorced in the Catholic Church
 F
At least not back then, anyhow
 C
Jesus was a good guy

He didn't need this shit

So he took a pill with a Coca-Cola
                 F
And he swallowed it
  G
He discovered the Beatles

And he recorded with The Stones

Once he even opened up a three-way package
               C
For old George Jones


[Chorus]
   C                               F
Charlie bought some popcorn, Billy bought a car
   G                                                      C
Someone almost bought the farm, but they didn't go that far
    C                           F
Things shut down at midnight, at least round here they do
    G                                                C
'Cause we all reside down the block inside of...23 Skidoo


[Verse 3]
      C
The years went by like sweet little days
    F
With babies crying pork chops and Beaujolais
    G
When he woke up, he was seventeen
                       C
The world was angry, the world was mean
   C
Why, the man down the street and the kid on the stoop
                         F
All agreed that life stank, all the world smelled like poop
      G
Baby poop, that is
       C
The worst kind
  G
So he grew his hair long and he threw away his comb
                                                 C
Headed back to Jerusalem to find Mom and Dad and home
 C
But when he got there, the cupboard was bare
   F
Except for an old black man with a fishing rod
 G
He said, "What you gonna be when you grow up?"

Jesus said, "God"
   C
Oh my God, what have I gotten myself into?
      F
I'm a human corkscrew and all my wine is blood
                       G                           C
They're gonna kill me, Mama, they don't like me, Bud
     C
So Jesus went to Heaven, he went there awful quick
     F
All them people killed him, he wasn't even sick
      G
So, come and gather around me, my contemporary peers
      F                               G         C
And I'll tell you all the story of Jesus: The Missing Years


[Chorus]
     C                         F
Charlie bought some popcorn, Billy bought a car
     G                                                   C
Someone almost bought the farm, but they didn't go that far
     C                             F
Things shut down at midnight, at least round here they do
    G                                              C
'Cause we all reside down the block inside at 23...Skidoo