C                      F
Oh bloody hell Im over sixty

C                      G7
My pubic hair is going grey

C                              F
I can't cut the mustard like I used to

C                               C
I think it's G7downhill all the way


[Verse 2]
    G7                           C
Oh please don't dump me by the seaside

 F                      C          G7
Don't shout as if my  ears don't  work

C                      F
Never let me pee my  trousers

G7                            C
Don't let me dribble down my shirt


[Verse 3]
     C                               F
The hair that once flowed round my shoulders

 C                             G7
Is drifting off just like the tide

     C                          F
That thing that was my little parting

    G7                    C
Is now about four inches wide


[Verse 4]
 G7                            C
And  when you see me on the buses

     F            C         G7
Oh please don't offer me your seat

     C                            F
Or when you're crunching on those apples

F                     C
I'll be sucking boiled sweets


[Verse 5]
   C                           F
I can't play squash or go out  jogging

C                             G7
For  fear my heart is going to burst

   C                            F
I think that beds were made for sleeping

     G7                      C
And that's a whole lot bloody worse


[Verse 6]
  G7                          C
I think I'll stay at home this  evening

       F     C               G7
And watch what ever's on the  box

C                      F
I must buy some thermal knickers

   G7                     C
A night cap and some woolly socks


[Verse 7]
C                      F
Oh bloody hell Im over sixty

C                      G7
My pubic hair is going grey

C                              F
I can't cut the mustard like I used to

C                  G7          C
I think it's downhill all the way