A
I was watch'n TV with my buddy Stevie, 
        E
 when I saw the strangest thing. 
        D
It was so compelling a woman selling 
A                  E
 Maxi Pads that had wings. 
A
I turned to channel three and what did I see,  
 E
a woman who looked real rich. 
       D
She was liv'in on a hill and pitch'n Vagisil 
A                          E
 for the special feminine itch. 
      A
So I tried once more and I turned to channel four,  
      E
I was shocked I must confess. 
   F#m                   D
A gal who was chunky said when she's smell'n funky  
         A               E
she just squirts it with FDS. 
 
 
 
              D                      E
Well it's on every station it's plug'n up the nation 
       A               D
 with feminine hygiene ads. 
D                         E
Douches and ointments and OBG appointments 
     A                       D
 and don't forget your Maxi Pads. 
                Bm       E
Cause they have wings to fly, 
 Bm             E                   A
 lets give it a try, for feminine hygiene. 
 
 
A
Well a mama and daughter walk'in by the water 
 
 E
 somebody don't feel fresh. 
D
Monistat Seven put her back in heaven 
          A                   E
 cause the yeast really makes a mess. 
A
A middle aged debutant look'n for a lubricant, 
       E
 they still can hear her voice. 
     D
 Her mama done told her when a woman gets older 
    A                  E
 the muffin downstairs don't stay moist. 
 
 
           D                   E
Well it's on every station an over saturation 
     A               D
 of feminine hygiene games. 
D                      E
Creams and lotions and all her emotions 
     A                D
 and all the water she retains. 
         Bm         E
It's so insane this game,       
Bm               E                  A
 there's to many names for feminine hygiene. 
 
 
A   Bm      C#m       D          E
                       Why do we have to view, 
A                F#m
 all that stuff girls go thru. 
D            E              A
It's really got my stomach reeling 
 
.  
A  Bm     C#m       D               E
                     Lets give those ads we see 
  A       F#m
  a hysterectomy 
        D                    E
 or at least, make them more appealing.  
 
 
 
           D                    E
Cause there on every station an over saturation 
    A                D
 of feminine hygiene ads. 
D                        E
Douches and ointments an OBG appointments, 
 A
 Creams and lotions and all her emotions. 
D
Summers Eve and Massengill 
 E
 and if you itch use Vagisil 
A
Kotex, Tampax, Gynecort and Yeast-X, 
D                   E
 Norforms, Pamprin, Feminique an Replens 
A
Motrin and Midol for when your suicidal, 
D                     E
 Monistat, Femstat, a plug for this a pad for that 
A                    D
The list goes on and on. 
 
          Bm       E
It's so insane to me 
Bm           E
 it's on my TV  
         A
Feminine Hygiene 
A    A/G#     F#m
Oh!    Oh!     Oh!  
D           E                A
It's on my TV it's Feminine Hygiene 
 
A  E  A