A
I was watch'n TV with my buddy Stevie,
E
when I saw the strangest thing.
D
It was so compelling a woman selling
A E
Maxi Pads that had wings.
A
I turned to channel three and what did I see,
E
a woman who looked real rich.
D
She was liv'in on a hill and pitch'n Vagisil
A E
for the special feminine itch.
A
So I tried once more and I turned to channel four,
E
I was shocked I must confess.
F#m D
A gal who was chunky said when she's smell'n funky
A E
she just squirts it with FDS.
D E
Well it's on every station it's plug'n up the nation
A D
with feminine hygiene ads.
D E
Douches and ointments and OBG appointments
A D
and don't forget your Maxi Pads.
Bm E
Cause they have wings to fly,
Bm E A
lets give it a try, for feminine hygiene.
A
Well a mama and daughter walk'in by the water
E
somebody don't feel fresh.
D
Monistat Seven put her back in heaven
A E
cause the yeast really makes a mess.
A
A middle aged debutant look'n for a lubricant,
E
they still can hear her voice.
D
Her mama done told her when a woman gets older
A E
the muffin downstairs don't stay moist.
D E
Well it's on every station an over saturation
A D
of feminine hygiene games.
D E
Creams and lotions and all her emotions
A D
and all the water she retains.
Bm E
It's so insane this game,
Bm E A
there's to many names for feminine hygiene.
A Bm C#m D E
Why do we have to view,
A F#m
all that stuff girls go thru.
D E A
It's really got my stomach reeling
.
A Bm C#m D E
Lets give those ads we see
A F#m
a hysterectomy
D E
or at least, make them more appealing.
D E
Cause there on every station an over saturation
A D
of feminine hygiene ads.
D E
Douches and ointments an OBG appointments,
A
Creams and lotions and all her emotions.
D
Summers Eve and Massengill
E
and if you itch use Vagisil
A
Kotex, Tampax, Gynecort and Yeast-X,
D E
Norforms, Pamprin, Feminique an Replens
A
Motrin and Midol for when your suicidal,
D E
Monistat, Femstat, a plug for this a pad for that
A D
The list goes on and on.
Bm E
It's so insane to me
Bm E
it's on my TV
A
Feminine Hygiene
A A/G# F#m
Oh! Oh! Oh!
D E A
It's on my TV it's Feminine Hygiene
A E A
