G C You wake up in the morning drink a beer and take a Valium G D7 And you're trying to forget about the things you did last night G C Flip through that morning paper read the horoscope and the comics G D7 G You're as well informed as anybody on the left or the right G C You make it to your job and hear Atlanta lost another G D7 How can you lose while making half a million bucks or near G C The old man who sweeps the floor and wears a big blue Reagan button G D7 G Says the Russians are a coming but they've been here for years C G Trying everything from Jesus to Jack Daniels D7 G It's the all new American diet C G Trying everything from Jesus to Jack Daniels C G D7 G You get on it and you're on it for the rest of your life G C There's a story in the paper about a man who killed his family G D7 He jumped off a bridge because he couldn't take it anymore G C Down at the local tavern a young man comes in limping G D7 G And he claims that he's a veteran of the Falkland Islands war G C You head home and you're accosted by a youngster wearing robes G D7 And wanting money for his God who sits upon a plastic throne G C You ignore him if you can and make it to the local tavern G D7 G Where you order up a drink and give some money to your own C G Trying everything from Jesus to Jack Daniels D7 G It's the all new American diet C G Trying everything from Jesus to Jack Daniels C G D7 G You get on it and you're on it for the rest of your life G There's a man in Tennessee who's got it figured out completely G D7 I guess that he's as happy as a thinking man can be G C I asked him what he thought and he said brother let me tell you G D7 G Try a little bit of both and leave out everything in between C G Trying everything from Jesus to Jack Daniels D7 G It's the all new American diet C G Trying everything from Jesus to Jack Daniels C G D7 G You get on it and you're on it for the rest of your life