Dm
Step right up
                                 Bb
We bring to you the finest entertainment
                            A7
And I am pleased to be your    humble servant
   Dm                      A7
Accept our hospitality, indulge in abnormality

           Dm
Step right up
                                       Bb
We've something here for everyone's enjoyment
                         A7
I do this as a gift, not    for employment
   Dm                       A7
A portrait of insanity, approached with pure humanity

              D            A
Come see our girls, crazy girls
           D/F#                              D7        A
If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride
       Em           B5
Those girls, crazy girls
D               A7                D7
   They're hot,     they're nuts,    they're suicidal
          D             A
Tickets cheap, it's a crime
            D/F#                             D7        A
And they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime
               Em              A7           D
To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time
              Em     A7     D
Come see the girls, girls, girls

 D                                E7
Some of them are really quite attractive as you see
 A7                          D
Some are truly hideous, I'm sure that you'll agree
       Em                A7             D
While others still look rather quite a lot like you and me
         E                         A7
But you mustn't let them fool you,    just one more rule

               D                 E7
You shouldn't look this one too long in the eye
     A7                   D
And that one, let's just keep walking by
                Em       A7                  D
These ain't no ordinary girls, and we've a steady supply
       Em            A7       D
Grab another cup of tea, and follow me

            D            A
To see our girls, crazy girls
           D/F#                              D7        A
If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride
       Em           B5
Those girls, crazy girls
D               A7                D7
   They're hot,     they're nuts,     they're suicidal
          D             A
Tickets cheap, it's a crime
            D/F#                             D7        A
And they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime
              Em               A7            D
To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time
              Em      A7    D
Come see the girls, girls, girls

          D                  E7
Now, has anybody any clever questions for your guide
       E             A7                   D7
For a penny more, go on and ask, we have nothing here to hide.

Quiet down! You, sir?
      D                    E7
If insanity's primarily a femininish malady,
    A7                                  D
And no one's doubting that for it's a scientific fact,
       Em              A7               D
Then according to the medics, are they faultier genetics?
          E                                A7
Are they born with this disease, or is it something they contract?

        D                           E7
It's all to do with reproductive organs
           A7                      D
Which are naturally unstable in a dame
               Em            A7         D
You see, from lunar we have lunacy and lunatic and loony
            E                        A7
And they're always ovulating by the cycle of the moony
          D
I have a question (shoot!)
                E7
Has any patient ever been released
           A7                             D
Would you send her home if her bizarre behavior would decrease?
         Em            A7         D
For the good of our society, they oughtn't reproduce
               E                            A7
So while they may pretend propriety, we'll never let them loose

              D            A
Come see the girls, crazy girls
           D/F#                              D7        A
If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride
       Em           B5
Those girls, crazy girls
D               A7                D7
   They're hot,     they're nuts,     they're suicidal
          D             A
Tickets cheap, it's a crime
            D/F#                             D7        A
And they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime
              Em               A7            D
To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time
              Em      A7    D
Come see the girls, girls, girls

Some are born mad
Some achieve madness
Some have madness thrust upon them
This is the real thing my friends, 100 percent, authentic, mentally-ill
Except no imitations
For a little extra on the side, you can arrange
For a slightly more intimate encounter, wink wink
For a tuppence, just a tuppence, a handful of pills to feed the inmates
We've got pills for depression, obsession, agression, possession, indiscretion,
But there's a bloody pill for everything nowadays

     A
How big is a lady's brain?
             Em         E7               D7
It's really very, very small, a simple thought is quite a strain
      Em
This seems just a bit inhumane
             E              E7               D7
It's just a simple little shock, it doesn't cause her any pain

         D                             E7
They're really more like animals than people
                 A7                           D
Which, as we've proven, haven't any souls at all.
          Em                 A7         D
The only bits that aren't inferior are bosom and posterior
      E                         A7
And these are only useful in a seedy music hall

            D               E7
They don't bite, well they might
       A7                 D
I say this one does look hungry tonight
             Em              A7
So get your picture with an inmate
        D
But be sure she's locked up tight
          E
They're practically wild sir
A7
    Protect your child sir

  D                              E7
They don't recall the taste of freedom
  A7                      D
They're just happy if we feed them
              Em             A7
So point and laugh, it isn't bad
               D
They oughtn't mind because they're mad!
        E                                A7
If you haven't got a dime, toss us your pearls

You're welcome to enjoy

     D            A
Our girls, crazy girls
           D/F#                              D7        A
If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride
       Em           B5
Those girls, crazy girls
D               A7                D7
   They're hot,     they're nuts,     they're suicidal
          D             A
Tickets cheap, it's a crime
            D/F#                             D7        A
And they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime
              Em               A7            D
To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time
              Em      A7    D
Come see the girls, girls, girls


           Em                A7               D
I've got a lot more words to say, but I just can't make them rhyme
           Em             A7             D
So ladies, let this be a lesson to you, keep your hair uncut
              Em                 A7
Your corsets tight, your morals high
               D
Your knitting neat, your yappers shut
              Em             A7
This is what comes of over-educating,
 D              Em
mentally over-stimulating,
                  A7
too much serious conversating,
D            Em
organized religion-hating,
             A7
sinful over-copulating,
 D                Em
marriage without procreating,
                     A7
girl-on-girl caught lesbiating,
 D                    Em
she was caught while masturbating,
                 A7
they all mind manipulating,
   D            Em
chronically hallucinating,
                  A7
certainly there's no debating,
 D                 Em
some we just find fascinating,
                  A7
women's rights facilitating,
D             Em
independent thought creating,
                A7
she just may be complicating,
 D             D7
get your money out, we're waiting

To see those
 Em
Girls!
 A7
Girls!
 D
Girls!