Intro: Cm9  Cm9/G 

Cm9
I admit that in the past I've been a nasty
                                                                          C#7
They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch
            G7(sus4)/D G7(sus4)
But you'll find that nowadays
G7(sus4)/D          G7(sus4)
I've mended all my ways
G#                  C#                G    G7
Repented, seen the light, and made a switch
     
    Cm9                                Cm9/G
And I fortunately know a little magic
                                     C#7
It's a talent that I always have possessed
         G7(sus4)/D          G7(sus4)
And dear lady, please don't laugh
  G7(sus4)/D   G7(sus4)
I use it on behalf
          G#            C#                G7sus4   G/F
Of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed (pathetic)

Cm9     G7(b9)    Cm9
Poor unfortunate souls
    Dm7(b5)   G7      Cm9
In pain,                in need
    Dm7(b5)             G7
This one longing to be thinner
    Cm9                    Cm/Eb
That one wants to get the girl
        D7
And do I help them?
Dm7(b5)    G7
Yes,    indeed
Cm9     G7(b9)    Cm9
Those poor unfortunate souls
   Dm7(b5)      G7 Cm9
So sad,         so true
          Dm7(b5)         G7
They come flocking to my cauldron
          Cm9
Crying, "Spells, Ursula, please!"
      Dm7(b5)   G7
And I help      them!
 Cm7
Yes I do

         Dm7(b5)
Now it's happened once or twice
        Fm6
Someone couldn't pay the price
                G7sus4  G7                  C
And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross the coals
         D#
Yes I've had the odd complaint
            G#               C#
But on the whole I've been a saint
         Cm/G    G7        Cm9
To those poor unfortunate souls

Cm Cm/G
Have we got a deal?

( Dm9  Dm9/A )

     Dm9
The men up there don't like a lot of blabber
                                                D#
They think a girl who gossips is a bore!
        Em7(5b)          A7         Em7(5b)             A7
Yet on land it's much prefered for ladies not to say a word
           A#                Eb          A7   A/G
And after all dear, what is idle babble for?
 
     Dm9
Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation
                                   D#
True gentlemen avoid it when they can
        Em7(5b)              A7       Em7(5b)         A7
But they dote and swoon and fawn on a lady who's withdrawn
              A#       D#                  A7 A/G
It's she who holds her tongue who get's a man

            Dm9  A7(b9)      Dm9
Come on you poor unfortunate soul
    Em7(b5)   A7            Dm9
Go ahead! Make your choice!
      Em7(b5)   A7           Dm9            Dm9/F
I'm a very busy woman and I haven't got all day
          E7
It won't cost much
          A7
Just your voice!

    Dm9   A7(b9)      Dm9
You poor unfortunate soul
     Em7(b5)   A7             Dm9
It's sad                 but true
        Em7(5b)          A7
If you want to cross the bridge, my sweet
       Dm
You've got the pay the toll
       Em7(5b)          A7
Take a gulp and take a breath
       Em7(5b)          A7
And go ahead and sign the scroll
    Em7(5b)             A7
Flotsam, Jetsam, now I've got her, boys
    Dm      F7+/C Dm/B
The boss is on a  roll
     A#9   A7          Dm
This poor unfortunate soul