E|-----| B|--3--| G|--1--| E7 D|--2--| A|--2--| E|--0--| Dm E7 Am Dm E7 Am Dm E7 Am Back in the not-too-distant past Dm When I would need a quick repast E7 Am Or a temporary break from my agenda Off to the bedroom I would head Dm Pull out the Playboy from 'neath the bed E7 Am And sneak a peek at all the portraits of pudenda Dm My alternatives were slim Am If I tried to find another source for sin E7 I'd have to hang out with the weirdos in the back room of my local Am video store Dm But last month I finally made the call Am I got a brand new cable modem installed E7 And it opened up the floodgates on a whole new universe of Am Internet porn Dm (Internet porn) Roman orgy scenes Am (Internet porn) dominatrix queens E7 (Internet porn) girl on girl on girl on girl on girl on guy on sheep Dm (Internet porn) gross anatomy Am (Internet porn) Pam and Tommy Lee E7 Am (Internet porn) when you're given so much to choose from, who has time to sleep? Interlude: Am Dm E7 Dm After my girlfriend goes to sleep Am Then I get out of bed and down the hall I creep E7 Am So I can hunker down and wallow in depravity until 3:00 or 4:00 Dm You'll always find me in that same tableau Am Silhouetted by my monitor's warm glow E7 Am And absorbing all the bounty from the cornucopia of Internet porn Dm Am E7 Am (Internet porn) barely legal teens (Internet porn) naughty figurines (Internet porn) geriatric German grandmas spanking Spanish men (Internet porn) erotic Asian art (Internet porn) guys with extra parts (Internet porn) I don't think I'm ever going to see the sun again (Internet porn) there's my neighbor's mom (Internet porn) bikers wearing diapers chasing nurses dressed like Smurfs (Internet porn) Maison l'Esclavage (Internet porn) un, deux, trois menage (Internet porn) every kind of smut from every corner of the Earth