I remember years ago a place I loved to go Palm trees, sunshine beaches and never any snow Then bastards came in numbers to infiltrate the place Crime and murder rates have soared in Florida's disgrace Now they've ruined Miami, they've let it go to piss Now they've ruined Miami, there's nothing left to miss Now they've ruined Miami, and my vacation plans Guess I'II have to stay at home until they fix it. man! Now they've got new gun laws, and everybody's armed They say it's their protection, no need to be alarmed I hate to be sarcastic but I wear the shoe that fits Miami is a city that has all but gone to shit I really wish I didn't have to write sarcastic songs But modern day society has got to right these wrongs Old men and women now have guns and they can't even drive They can't aim, and they can't shoot and we cannot survive Cemeteries filling up, they'll have to make some room People wasting people, I sense impending doom So if you love Miami, you'll get what you deserve Better pack a bullet proof vest, and pills to soothe your nerves