Billy solves his problems by calling up his mom Heather solves her problems with drugs and alcohol Daniel solves his problems with a doctor and the law But malcolm has his own way and it's better than them all Chorus 'cause malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw And he never has the same problem twice Whether it's a bill or a cheque arriving late Rancid marble cheese or a steak that's second rate Awful tv programs or a broken elvis plate Or his fiancee who dumps him because he's gaining weight Chorus Aaaaggghhh aaaaggghhh Problem solved